


Damn the BILLY Bookcase

by mochaangel



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/M, Fluff, beetlejuice being mildly threatening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25582612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochaangel/pseuds/mochaangel
Summary: Beetlejuice thought moving out was supposed to mean all fun and all play, but apparently all Lydia wants to do is spend her time strapping together boards and calling it furniture.
Relationships: Beetlejuice/Lydia Deetz
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44
Collections: Beetlebabes Week





	Damn the BILLY Bookcase

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with the musical-verse in mind so that's why it's musical-style. But if you squint it can really be general.

“This would be easy, you said.”

“Shut up Beetlejuice.”

“Every schmuck you know offerin’ to make it for ya’ instead.”

“I said _zip it!_ ”

“Hell, I could snap up a better one with just one word-”

“And I can make you stop whining in three!” Lydia lost her grip on the sheet of wood held flimsily together by scrambled up screws. The resounding smash of the bookshelf softened only slightly, as it was cushioned by the sneaker on Lydia’s left foot.

“ _Ah! Fuck!_ ” Lydia winced, pulling her foot back and was just about to tumble back before Beetlejuice swept her up in his arms in a flourish. He cradled her high above the wreckage that was the IKEA BILLY Bookcase in black. Or a blackish-brown if Beetlejuice squinted correctly. Lydia had spent almost four hours trying to assemble the damn thing, cursing at screws that didn’t exist and boards that were too heavy to lift for her tiny frame. At first, it was entertaining seeing her fiddle with the flimsy paper manual and try to assess each piece like it was part of a puzzle, and then her growing frustration after the fact only fueled Beetlejuice’s glee. 

Unfortunately, watching his wife’s grueling attempts to keep a couple of boards up grew old. Especially after realizing how invested she was in the task even though it was tiring her out. And a tired Lydia was a cranky Lydia, and a cranky Lydia was a Lydia that wouldn’t give him the time of day and Beetlejuice wasn’t ready to let a bookshelf interfere with his marriage just yet.

Besides, Lydia already did a stellar job with all the other furniture in the house. The queen-sized bed frame with roll out drawers at the bottom, her new work desk with cabinet shelves to hold all her office equipment on one side and all her sketching equipment on the other, Hell! She even managed to put together that fold out dining set that extended to add two more chairs if needed. She even got all the foldable chairs together. That took all morning and the early part of the afternoon and now it was almost eleven at night and Lydia had a plush mattress she clearly needed to rest on but instead, decided to be a masochist about the whole situation.

“Babes, you need sleep.”

“I _need_ to finish setting up that bookcase.” she quipped back yet still snuggled into the lapels of his jacket. “Beetlejuice, please.” Ah, common decency. She should know that doesn’t work on him, she _must_ be exhausted.

With careful footsteps Beetlejuice carried Lydia to her newly furnished bedroom and dropped her on a pillowy duvet. He watched as Lydia realized where she was and stuck up her legs so her shoes wouldn’t touch the covers. Funny, Beetlejuice thought Lydia liked getting a little dirty in bed. Snickering, Beetlejuice obliged and removed her slip-on sneakers and placed them on the headboard of the bed frame.

What was this? A _BRIMNES_? It had drawers and shelves on it, man how did Lydia get this thing done so fast but let a big rectangle with flat boards that go inside it get the best of her? 

Watching her cuddle into her gothic pillows, Beetlejuice saddled it up to just plain tired stubbornness catching up to her on this busy day. However, watching her groan and then slowly get up and out of bed made him start to think she just liked the pain. And while he wasn’t opposed to the sentiment, _he_ liked to be the one causing the torment , not some Swedish bookcase.

“Yeah Lyds, that’s not happening.” He caught her by the arm and pulled her back into her springy mattress, this time bouncing down with her and keeping a tight arm and leg to secure his weaselly little wife. 

“Beej, c’mon! People are bringing in the sofa tomorrow. I can’t leave that mess on the floor.”

With a deadpan expression and his limbs still keeping his wife from wiggling out Beetlejuice mimicked her voice in full pronunciation “ _Oh yeah, no problem. You can bring the couch in tomorrow at 2PM then, okay thanks!_ ” 

“Ugh!” He knew Lydia hated when he did that. Make a valid point, not the voice echoing. His Lydia loved his tricks. “That doesn’t mean I’ll get it done in time!” Her struggling lessened and Beetlejuice took that moment to hold her tighter. Lydia was a smart one and he knew she would use any sign of weakness from him to escape. So Beetlejuice cupped her head and guided her to rest into the crook of his neck as he rubbed her back in soothing patterns.

“Why don’t I just juice the bookcase and it can be over and done wi-”

“No!” She started struggling again and that’s why Beetlejuice held her tighter.

“Easy easy babes, you make it sound like I’m gonna start doing anal without any lube!” He kept his grip on her until he decided to just fully roll themselves over so he could keep all his weight on her and hopefully she’ll tire out again. Lydia, now thoroughly muffled into the comfort of her pillows, was trapped between her spouse and a soft place.

“You haven’t been letting me juice anything to help ya’ Lyds! Look, I can take a hint but I’ve been feeling a little useless since ya’ moved up here.” Beetlejuice wouldn’t lie, he felt almost invisible when she kept turning away his offers to do things on her own. He thought many times how well Lydia’s tool box would look as a flaming centerpiece for the apartment.

“ _Bweee_ ” The pillow spoke more than the woman.

“Wuzza’?”

Lydia turned her head from the cushion and let one soft brown eye look at him. God, it was illegal to be that cute. “Since _we_ moved up here…”

“Y-yeah, _I’ve_ been feeling useless since _we_ moved up here. What’s yer point, babes?” 

“We moved here, right Beej? Together?” Lydia's voice was small, more than a whisper but barely a crack in her voice. Her eye glistened and blinked at him and Beetlejuice melted under her gaze.

“Well yeah, duh. Short of an exorcism you can’t get rid of me.”

“Or a divorce?”

“You want a divorce?” 

Lydia giggled a groggy little “ _no_ ” and Beetlejuice thought Lydia was finally caving in to the idea of sleep.

“Beetlejuice…” Lydia yawned and this time he felt safe letting her go just a little. “You’ve always done things for me ever since we met.” She frowned. “You’ve made my life so easy.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I dunno’ but this marriage… Our relationship. I don’t want to be this spoiled brat all the way through it, I want to be reliable, and helpful. I want to be your partner.”

Beetlejuice held back how he wanted to tell her that he’d give her the entire city of Rome if she asked. How he’d rip the eyes out of the sockets of her smallest nuisance and collapse them into a pair of diamond earrings for her to wear. How if she didn’t want to go off to work or school for a day, he’d swirl the clouds into a storm that'd trip all the power in the state except for hers; and they could stay inside and he could listen to her talk about the latest photo session she took when she found a grungy old thrift store in a nook so far off the beaten path it was practically a local museum to her. Or they could just lay around and he could hold her and snuggle and revel in the sheer fact that Lydia was here with him, and she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

So instead Beetlejuice combed his hands in her hair and took a deep and satisfying whiff.

“Lydia, I’d be absolutely helpless without you.”

And Lydia laughed, full bodied and gleeful. Because Beetlejuice doesn’t talk sincerely or heartfeltly. And Beetlejuice laughed for the same reason, rolling on their mattress in their own personal side-splitting reverie. But the words were out there, and they hung between them like freshly dried linen. Soft and warm, smelling like home and basking in a bright and breezy day. 

Lydia yawned again, this time climbing into her covers and Beetlejuice followed suit. “I think I can fall asleep now.”

“What about the bookcase?”

  
“Damn the BILLY bookcase.” She sighed into his chest and fell into a lax sleep. And with a flick of Beetlejuice’s wrist the lights were closed, the door was locked, and the black little shelf stood perfectly built in the small area that was _their_ living room.

**Author's Note:**

> I got this prompt from an OTP generator and its your pairing setting up IKEA furniture. And since I love IKEA furniture I couldn't help myself. Plus my queue on tumblr made me post my prompt art too early so have this as a substitute for day 4 if that's ok. Think of it as Lydia moving out for college...yeah a second day 5 prompt.


End file.
